David Wins the Stanley Cup

I DID IT! I WON THE STANLEY CUP! Victory, how sweet you taste.

Now I know what you're thinking: How, David, what with your Super Bowl victory last February - your second championship in the last four years, mind you - and the heartbreaking trip to the Stanley Cup Finals last year, all while rebuilding your struggling baseball franchise, did you have enough left in the tank to go through the Stanley Cup Playoffs, the most grueling and tiring of any playoff system in the major US sports, unscathed, unaffected, yet anointed Champion all the same?

On the other hand, if you happen to fall on the anti-David part of the David-liking spectrum, you may be thinking to yourself, "David, that's b.s., the Penguins won the Stanley Cup while you sat back and watched on your lazy ass, you egotistical jackass." Well, for one, incorrect. I have put myself into a self-imposed fasting-of-sorts for the last 8 weeks for this championship. Muslims have Ramadan, Christians have Lent, hockey fans have the Playoffs. A list of things I gave up so as not to jinx the Pens:

• Blogging
  
• Wearing anything related to Pittsburgh sports teams
  
• Thinking about a possible Stanley Cup victory
• Eating during games
• Walking counterclockwise around my pool table
• Taking my eyes off the game
• Remembering players can't hear me through the TV screen
• Changing out of my bathing suit
• Shaving semi-regularly
• Not doing the daily crossword puzzle in the newspaper
• Being outside of an arm's reach of my now-lucky pen
  
• Talking about what I'd given up
  
• 8 weeks of an otherwise stress-free time of my life
• Red meat

Now I know it's nothing compared to you Lent-observers among us, but I thought it was a pretty good start. Regardless, the Lord our God has rewarded my efforts to remind myself of the less fortunate among us by granting me the Stanley Cup.
A Cup to match my Bowl...